Stop and Smell the Goal Roses
By: Dr. Russ L’HommeDieu, DPTCategory: Dr. Russ LHommeDieu, DPT
You just cant manufacture a new, better, life. It must be cultivated. Imagine that the new life you are growing is like a rose garden. Truly beautiful roses do not simply grow by accident. All roses need the nutrients of the soil, an ample supply of water and the support of a trellis. Most of all, roses do not grow overnight, they take time. If you were to try to rush your rose along, the rose would seem to defy your best efforts and still not grow any faster. You would surely become stressed and frustrated. You may even want to give up on your rose altogether. Neglected roses are left to die, often before they bloom. It would be a shame to see all that potential beauty turn directly to compost.
Goal setting is the cornerstone to the cultivation of this garden of new life. Each goal is a rose in itself. Each one contributes to the garden. Although they do not each have to be perfect, they do need to be allowed to grow to their own full potential. Occasionally, in pursuit of the perfect garden, a few roses are pruned back and discarded. This is true of goals as well. The best way to grow a beautiful garden is to keep it manageable. Focusing on a few goals at a time will, absolutely, lead to an awesome goal garden and ultimately to a new and better life.
As roses mature, they will require less attention to maintain them. This is also true of goals. The best way to expand the size of your garden is to plant new roses only after you have the starter garden under control. By this analogy, as your goals mature, they will require less attention from you. This is a great time to make new goals.
The Purpose Well
The water needed to cultivate each a rose comes from a well. For the purposes of this garden, imagine each rose has its own well. The ability of that well to produce water will determine the ability of that rose to flourish. Without the water from that well, the rose will die.
In the same way that the rose needs the water, your goals need purpose. For you to continue to cultivate a goal, this purpose needs continuous replenishment. Every time you are confronted with one of your goals, your mind needs to make a decision to do it or not. At the very moment this decision is made, your mind goes to the well of purpose. If the well produces water, the goal is kept. If the well is dry the goal is not. The ability to keep true to your goals is more about purpose and less about willpower.
If your purpose well goes dry, your goals will die. The deeper a well, the more water it can produce. Often, shallow wells go dry because they draw from small underground pockets of water. Deeper wells, on the other hand, tap into large pools of water called aquifers. An aquifer is like an underground ocean. The key feature of an aquifer is that the water you take from the well does not necessarily come from directly underneath the well. Because of their size, aquifers collect every drop of water that hits the ground for miles around. The water you ultimately take from your well could have come from just about anywhere.
When your purpose well only taps into a shallow pool, it will often run dry. The key is to recognize that the well is drying up and deepen it. For instance, your initial purpose for exercising might be to fit into a certain size dress for that high school reunion. After the reunion the purpose for getting into that dress dries up and your workout routine suffers. To keep your interest in working out, you need to deepen your purpose. One way to deepen your purpose is to tie the goal of working out to how great it makes you feel. Deepen it further by connecting it with the benefit it provides to your overall health. Drill a little deeper and you strike the age gracefully aquifer. The deepest wells of purpose are those that are beyond you. If you believe that your morning exercise routine will provide a better life to those you love, your well will never go dry.
A stretch? I dont think so. My daily exercise gives me energy to spend time with my wife and children. I can do things with them that I could never do before. Furthermore, it makes me feel good mentally. It helps me focus on what is really important in my life. Because of the increased blood supply that exercise brings to the brain, it really does prevent depression and improve mental function. I can use that mental focus to enhance the lives of those I love. You cant get a deeper well than that.
Doc Russ The BetternessCoach is not only a Doctor of Physical Therapy but has lost over 230 pounds and maintained it!
He has combined his weight loss experience with his life-long passion for food, nutrition, exercise and human motivation into a small step, life change program he calls Betterness®.
As the worldâs first Betterness® Coach, Doc Russ helps people achieve their goals by giving them permission to stop straining for perfection and start striving toward being better. He uses the 4 tenets of Betterness (Awareness, Accountability, Action and Adaptation) to help people become â and STAY – a little better every day.
If you want more Betterness® in your life, catch Russ online at www.betternessinstitute.org, where you find a selection of his writings and sign up for his free weekly newsletter.
Doc Russ is also available for private coaching (either in his office or over the phone), lectures and events.
Dr. Russ LHommeDieu, DPT, Betterness® Coach
The Betterness®Institute
Hamptons / North Fork 631.772.9212
Manhattan 212.365.4438
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