The Problems start when “All-or-Nothing” thinking leaves you with NOTHING

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I am an all or nothing person. Is what my new client said. I knew instantly what that meant because I was an all-or-nothing person too. What I have come to realize is that when I defined myself like that, I usually ended up with a whole lot of Nuthin. Then, Betterness® found me and, while I dont have it all (whatever that means) I do have a lot of what I want and I am getting closer to the things I have yet to achieve. All-in-all, its pretty cool. Now all I have to do is help my new friend re-define herself from an all-or-nothing person to a Betterness person.

Bett•er•ness: (bet-ēr-nes) n. an accumulation of small, positive changes that achieves major life improvement. Antonym: All-or-Nothing

As it so happens I just talked a lot about re-defining oneself in one of my last posts – so go back and read You Are Who Think You Are and You Become Who You Think You Can Become if you havent already. Ill wait

Ok, now that we are all on the same page, I will continue.

A lot of my clients get stuck when they cant achieve their goals. In other words, by not doing it all they get frustrated into doing nothing. This is actually pretty common. The truth is that it is OK to fail. In fact failure is a necessary part of learning. Think back to your best learned lessons of life. Chances are, the ones you will never forget were the ones that you learned from experience. Experience is just a word for re-engineered failure. The people who tend to succeed are those who simply do not see failure as failure. They see it as a message to do something different.

One core belief or self definition that seems to be holding people back that they harbor doubts about their abilities to achieve their vision. Not everyone, however, is limited by this kind of limited thinking. Some people not only believe that lasting change is possible for them; they see it as natural and inevitable. They believe that who they are right now is temporary, a function only of the here and now. For such people, all change is an energizing ingredient of learning and growth. They truly believe that every moment is simply a passageway to a better them. In her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success (Random House, 2006), psychologist Carol Dweck describes her extensive studies of people who think in this manner. She describes them as having a growth mindset. You may call them successful. Personally, I call them betterness thinkers.

What Dr. Dweck observed is that people who understand the nature of change see possibility in everything. One reason people who dont believe they are capable of change get stuck is because their blindness to possibility causes them to miss opportunities. Betterness thinkers have fewer limitations on their potential than people that dont think they can change. The way they think literally programs them for success.

What she also observed is that no one needs to be stuck. Betterness thinking is learned. No matter what, you can un-stick your weight loss success by becoming a betterness thinker. All you need to do in order to free-up your thinking is to believe that you are capable of real, lasting, life alteration. When you do, all sorts of possibilities unfold right before your eyes and your life will change.

By definition, Betterness thinking does not have to come all at once. When you believe a small change is possible, you are likely to make that change. I used a series of small successes build my betterness thinking. Barriers to belief disappear once your mind sees success by any measure. Success is the brain food of belief. Your success is the most solid proof on earth that you should believe in yourself.

Doc Russ The BetternessCoach is not only a Doctor of Physical Therapy but has lost over 230 pounds and maintained it!

He has combined his weight loss experience with his life-long passion for food, nutrition, exercise and human motivation into a small step, life change program he calls Betterness®.

As the world’s first Betterness® Coach, Doc Russ helps people achieve their goals by giving them permission to stop straining for perfection and start striving toward being better. He uses the 4 tenets of Betterness (Awareness, Accountability, Action and Adaptation) to help people become – and STAY – a little better every day.

If you want more Betterness® in your life, catch Russ online at www.betternessinstitute.org, where you find a selection of his writings and sign up for his free weekly newsletter.

Doc Russ is also available for private coaching (either in his office or over the phone), lectures and events.

Dr. Russ LHommeDieu, DPT, Betterness® Coach

The Betterness®Institute

Hamptons / North Fork 631.772.9212

Manhattan 212.365.4438

Toll Free: 888.4DocRuss (888)436.2787

Fax: 631.614.4291

www.betternessinstitute.org

Facebook: www.facebook.com/betternesscoach

Twitter: www.twitter.com/betternesscoach

Website: www.betternessinstitute.org

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