How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself after Bariatric Surgery
(Is Your Self Love Lacking?)
By: Katie Jay, MSW, National Association for Weight Loss Surgery
Are you tired of worrying that you wont be able to lose weight and keep it off for good that maybe WLS wont work for you after all?
Every morning I read something to help me stay on track with my WLS lifestyle. This morning, I read something from a book I picked up over the weekend, Overeaters Anonymous.
It reminded me at a very deep level why I am so committed to my recovery and to helping others find peace with their obsession with food, their body, and the scale.
I was sure I would find the book old fashioned and too OA-y. To my delight, the book was not too that way for me. Instead I was pleasantly stunned.
In Rozannes story (she was the OA founder), she shares, No matter what happened, no matter how thin I was, self-hate still ate at my very soul. I couldnt even admit it to myself. (pg. 10)
There, in two sentences, Rozanne sums up my experience with losing nearly 200 pounds. No matter how successful I am with weight loss, I still have an inner shame, a self loathing that I almost dare not speak about.
At least I know it now.
In lengthy sessions with my therapist, I have come to realize for the 4,392nd time, that my self hate is holding me back, keeping me from enjoying this precious life. Keeping me from feeling the confidence someone who works as hard and as passionately as I do should feel.
If you want to know the truth, the self hate is so deeply ingrained, I almost feel hopeless. Almost.
Have you heard the saying, feel the fear and do it anyway? I am choosing to change despite my fear, despite my doubt.
Self hate is part of my fat mind. Or to be more PC, its part of my obesity mindset. And I have decided that mindset HAS TO GO.
After years of study, prayer, and trying, I am making headway. I notice that making headway is the thing I have trouble admitting to myself.
I can see and acknowledge my self hate, but I minimize the great strides Im making in overcoming it.
And I am overcoming it.
They say we teach what we most need to learn. So, I am teaching about self hate, and self love, in California this February. The retreat is called, Its Time to Fall in Love with Yourself.
Im doing it for me, but youre invited to join me.
Actually, NAWLS is offering two retreats in early 2009. The self-love retreat for WLS patients, and another great retreat in Florida for bariatric nurses who have had bariatric surgery, Making Peace with Your Inner Patient. You can click through to the information pages from here:
Click here to learn about the NAWLS Retreats
Dare to love yourself!
Katie Jay, MSW, Certified Wellness Coach Director, National Association for Weight Loss Surgery
