How Long Does It Take to Reprogram My Hard Drive?
By: Warren Huberman, Ph.D.
One of the most common questions I am asked is âHow long does it take for before a new behavior feels normal?â Much has been written on this topic. Iâve read that it takes 18 days for a new behavior to become a habit and Iâve read 21 days as well. The answer is that we donât really know. What we do know is that it takes awhileâŠprobably more than a few weeks. The reason so many people ask this question is quite understandable; everyone wants to know, âHow much longer am I going to have to put forth so much conscious effort before things get a little easier?â
The greatest challenge of losing weight is that so many behaviors need to be changed and most of our eating behaviors seem automated. Like a computerâs hard drive that automatically runs programs without our input, our brains guide us to perform many of our behaviors, seemingly without our effort. So changing behavior patterns is a bit like reprogramming a computerâs hard drive. Hereâs a true story.
Earlier this year I stopped drinking diet cola. For a long time I wanted to stop consuming this chemical concoction and I finally decided to take action. Every day for over ten years, Iâve been going to the same deli in the morning to pick up a cup of coffee and a diet cola for later in the day. After making the decision to stop drinking diet cola, I noticed that every morning in the deli, after I poured my coffee, I continued to take a few steps towards the cooler containing the diet cola before realizing that I donât drink diet cola anymore. How long did it take before I stopped taking that step towards the cooler? By six weeks I was no longer taking that step and simply walking out the door with only a cup of coffee. Think about that. My brainâs hard drive was running on autopilot for 45 days even after I made a firm decision.
Once I stopped taking those few steps towards the cola cooler, controlling my diet cola intake became much easierâŠ.at least in that situation. There were also many other situations where buying or drinking diet cola had commonly occurred and I had to endure and change my behavior in those situations as well. As you know, the first few weeks are always the hardest, and then it gets easier. The âeasierâ part everyone is familiar with. We have all started a diet and stuck with it long enough that it started to feel like we finally beat the bully. âThis time Iâm going to finally lose the weight and keep it off!â (Iâm envisioning Charlie Brown running towards the football Lucy is holding thinking âthis time Iâm really going to kick the football!).
But as we all know, somehow the hard drive seems all too willing to revert back to its original setting. For some reason, even after we seem to be on easy street for a while and drop 20 or so pounds, and make significant behavior changesâŠsomething happens. We slip, we slide and seemingly overnight the 20 pounds has found its way back onto our midsections. What happened? What happened is the answer to our original question. âHow long does it take to reprogram my hard drive? Maybe forever.
The problem is thinking that behavior change and losing weight is a finite objectiveâŠthat you can actually stop trying at some point. That you can wipe out the old hard drive and completely replace it with a new one. This is why diets failâŠwe start diets believing that there will come a time that we can stop dietsâŠand then act surprised when the weight weâve lost comes back! In theory, there may come a time where it simply never occurs to me to have a diet colaâŠbut itâs now well over six months and that time is nowhere in sight and I am no longer waiting for it. Rather than waiting and hoping that I will one day simply no longer yearn for a diet cola I have substituted a host of other drinks for diet cola. Water actually tastes great now. Iâve even decided every now and then to go to a new deli where Iâve never purchased diet cola before. I try not to eat in my office as often and actually go outdoors for 10 minutes to enjoy my lunch. Iâm breaking old connections and building new ones, but I try not to ask myself when it is going to end because itâs better to think that it never ends and that I always need to be on my toesâŠeven though it does get easier with each day.
So donât diet. Donât start what you know you canât finish. Make small behavior changes every day while keeping an eye on unwanted old habits and stop looking over every horizon to see if youâre close to the finish line where you can finally let your guard down. There is no finish lineâŠbut I assure you that it can be an enjoyable journey that you can tolerate for the rest of your lifeâŠeven without getting a new hard drive. _Dr. Huberman is a Clinical Psychologist with a practice in cognitive-behavior therapy in New York City. He is a Clinical Instructor in the Department of Psychiatry at the NYU School of Medicine. He is an Affiliate Psychologist at the NYU Langone Medical Center and NSLIJ-Lenox Hill Hospital. Dr. Huberman is a consulting psychologist to the NYU/Langone Weight Management Program. He is the author of the New book Through Thick & Thin: The Emotional Journey of Weight Loss Surgery.
For more information, visit warrenhuberman.com.
